The sky isn't clear

I'm here! with my thoughts, sincerely.

Stuck in square 1. Stuck.. with my own thoughts? I guess.

The sky isn't clear as day. The night sky's been crawling into my head, robbing my thoughts. My thoughts are perplexed. And me? Well, I'm just.. trying. Trying to swim away the doubts, the goosebumps, the pessimistic, the curiosity, the damned.

It's always been like this. I'm a lost duck trying to get back to it's purposes. I'm swimming but I'm drowning, although I am not literally drowning. Still alive but barely living.

I need to find my way. To create myself. To discover my identity. To invent and reinvent the meaning of life.

Now, I realized, choice is what matters. But, why is the answer that I'm looking for is none of the choices available? Or is it just not there, yet? Should I find it?

I'm lost. I need to get to my feet.
I'm lost. I need to keep my thoughts away from me.
I'm lost. Will it be okay?

I'm lost. But I'm in the journey of discovery.
I'm lost. But I will keep swimming. I will get to where I'm meant to be. Better than ever. Someday.

Someday. When the sky is clear as day.